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L.A.R.P Tryout Gone Terribly Wrong

  So I got so bored I thought I would make a tryout for a new L.A.R.P club…er that means Live Action Role Play. Turns out they decided to video tape my audition and I didn’t make the cut. I don’t understand what those Vampire the Masquerade people have against Unicorns…. assh@les. By the way I am full of shit, but this is disturbing. Please Enjoy:

Quote

YouTube – Unicorn – Goodbye Horses
  

 

Not having anybody to have roleplaying game fun with I decided to go into my video collection and pull out the old Star Wars trilogy to revisit the center of the Nerd Universe. However I found not only were my DVD’s missing, but my Star Wars Holiday Special pirated CD was missing as well. All that was left behind was traces of wookie hair and this video…. Damn you……GL, yet another edit with even more CGI? How could you be so cruel? The French…. how could you sell it to the French? At least the Japanese would have made it interesting with some sort of tentacle porn or something…. :

 

 

 

Well enough of my Shenanigans. I am full of stories. Speaking of which I have a dream to share with you, perhaps tomorrow. Good night one and all!

Listening to: "Forgotten" by Spineshank

Reading: 2 Graphic Novels: "Neverwhere" by Neil Gaiman & "The Best of Ray Bradbury" by …..well guess who? (Good art..Ft. Mike Mignola n the sort)

                                                                                                               -LMB

NightSkares & DreamSkrapes

Isn’t that just an awesome title?

 

All them k’s just seem to emphasize how deep and imaginitive I am. I really do think that if other artists such as myself realize how edgey they will seem by getting rid of those pussy C’s to replace them with the way more balls-out K’s, well it might just make me seem like a douche. Besides, the Germans are all about the K’s, and they are known for their trendsetting. K’s are about as German as VW’s, Fokke-Wulfs and Marzipan (I had great difficulty trying to not mention Genocide, but wait… these brackets don’t exist only within my mind…. oh, i’m so weak). Next thing you know there will be bands with names like Skrape, Korn, Kataklysm, Katatonia, Kreator and Kraftwerk…. if I were just to name a few off the top of my head. Ha…ha…ha…ahhhhhhh.

 

Purpose of blog title, well my original purpose for this blog was to track, discuss and play with my crazy ass dreams. Makes sense calling this blog the Loft (I don’t know why, could have just as easy been a bungalo) of Peripheral (to perceive from the inside looking out) Oneiromancy (the study of dreams). However I have been bitching and complaining far to much so I thought I better catch you up on some of these creatures spawned from my subconscious. I have always have had these crazy vivid, scenic and graphic dreams, but I would like to point out that these medications make all this much worse. Yes, I get Nightmares most every night now. This is affecting my Psyche. Ahhhhh…….. so I will just give you a short recap of the last few notables, but I think i might refrain from getting into too much detail. So here we go:

 

1. I fell asleep watching the space channel which happened to have a marathon of insectile swarm movies, now which one was it…. whether it was "Black Swarm (Wasps, 2007)" with Robert Englund (Yeah…that is Freddy), "The Hive" (Ants, 2008), "Killer Bees" (Bees, 2002 & one I watched a long time ago with Adam where we both laughed our asses off), "Locusts: Day of Destruction" (Locusts, 2005, with Lucy Lawless…yes that’s Xena…just like yer shirt Whitey) or what I think is the most likely subject as I woke up part way through to grab a glass of water and caught a bit of the plot.. "Swarmed" (Wasps, 2005). That plot is that they got to warn the town about mutagenic pesticide to save everybody at the town cookoff, which they failed and decided to lure the "yellerjackets" away with ooohweee, ribs. Ha. Fuck. I digress. One of or all of the following movies made me dream that I was in a hospital with a group of ragtag people. Their was most of your stereotypical personas, ‘The Overly Agressive Black Guy’,’ The Overreacting Pretty Lady’,’ The Overly Cautious Old Guy’,’ The Disgustingly Unlikeable Punk Kid’,’ The Painfully Ignorant Virgin Biblethumper Chick’,’ The Self Serving Balding A-Hole’ and  ‘The Painfully Vulnerable Young Aspiring Doctor’ amongst a few others. This cast would have made the most medicore casting director in Baliwood jealous. Then there is me…  I can’t really define if i am am plain old me or any cooler with dream muscles. So we are being attacked by Zombies. Yeah, that sucks. We all have seen the movies this setup would make. Unlike the movies they don’t pick us off one at a time, no… everbody starts getting brutally murdered…. in pretty much the most brutal ways possible. It is my job to lead them all out of this place (for some reason) and the entire dream I am looking for a weapon. So the entire group is literally ripped apart, I am pushing zombies faces away and narrowly dodging almost all these grubby zombie bites….then it is just me running batshit….of course until I am emmersed in a swarm of zombie insects. Great….added to lame ass sub-genres together to make up the shittiest dream ever. It doesn’t stop there, I keep on trucking as I continue to keep getting damage inflicted until I finally wake up to the shitty wasp movie and sadness. Oy.

 

2. I am in this giant, empty concrete cityscape pushing around Hulk Hogan in a Wheelchair, all the while as he keeps on berating me and putting down my character. I remember I even picked him up to lay him on this high ledge which was an obstacle, pushing the wheelchair up behind him as he is saying shit like, "You are never going to amount to nothing BROTHER!!! The Hulkster in this wheelchair is twice the man you’ll ever be!" Ha…ahhhhhhh, he was like a childhood hero of mine. Now  kinda want to push him down a staircase.

 

3. I was in a very Steampunk kind of dream where It seemed almost like a massive abandoned warehouse in what seemed like an older part of London, inside this warehouse was 4 sets of train tracks. On one of the tracks moving away from me was this Handcar/ Pumptrolley being operated by an unknown person on one side and a steam-piston robot (With guages, brass and even steam leaking out of it) on the other. On this car was a key I needed to get me back into this laboratory full of magical and wonderful things where I honestly believed I would find a doorway to what my mind classified as the Beautiful world. So I am running down the track inside this disrepair warehouse when hooligans on high up walkways and overhead support beams start throwing down wooden boxes and broken panes of glass to stop me from catching this Handcar. I don’t catch it before I wake up. In fact I remember thinking during this dream how much it reminds me of the old CBC TV show "The Odyssey" about the kid who falls out his tree house and goes into a coma in which everybody in this gloomy coma world is under the age of 16 and the place is run a some kind of crazy police state where he embarks on this journey to find his way back home…something about a telescope as well…. pretty much the coolest kid show ever if memory serves. Ummm, yeah…nuff said. 

 

4. A giant aboriginal guy, not so much like T. Hawk 

 

 

but maybe a little closer to the Aboriginal version of Silent Bob ends up becoming a really good friend with me and I keep showing him Slayer albums. However after we hang out and become really good friends I keep missing him somehow or things keep getting in our way that we can never manage to meet up. So in the end I keep getting disappointed that i can not hang out with my new best friend. I end up meting up with Eri at the end of it and we decide to take (what is her now defunct) Toyota Corola down gravel roads in hilly country (which to me resembles Drumheller) and I keep having to push her car out of muddy ditches. At the end of our trek she ends up giving me what looks like a small version of what I would consider a headclippers extension. I have the feeling that when I see it in the dream that it is more technological than that but is also somehow very personal and intimate. I am not sure how, but it was some kind of bonding. Also it made me feel a little bit better about missing my new aboriginal friend.   

 

These are all the examples I have in me to give right now….. so go ahead you Freudians, how messed up am I?

 

In real life….well it sucks. Every piece of technology I own is racing each other down the road to hell. Both vehicles, cell phone, even my head shaver….. all going to shit. I have no money to fix that right now. Medication is much, I don’t feel great and above the bad stomach, nightmares I am having severe emotional mood swings. I am very unbalanced. It is disconcerting. Makes it hard to focus on life things. I am managing however and will get into it more later.

 

Recent Movies:

"Avatar"- Whitey hates it, most everybody else liked it. I liked it but that could be the meds…. I cried when the guy ended up leaing the really big bird creature back to the Navi-Hoes (nark nark) Yeah….. I cried over a large avian mount, I am really not myself. I could get into the whole discussion how it is a CGI ripoff of "Dances With Wolves," "The Last Samurai," amongst others where it always features a White Male Character using his ’White Guilt’ over colonialism to make him join the native culture, learn their ways, excell until he is better at being them than they are, then fighting alongside them against his own white honky people. Think what you wanna think, i’m too tired to get into it, but as i said to Whitey it is the movie of 2009 to mindlessly love or ruthlessly hate…. up to you.

 

"Ninja Assassin" – Wow, I really didn’t expect that. So you remember those kinda cheezy Ninja movies of the 80′s, i mean the revenge plotlines, the crappy soundtrack, the silly ninja antics….This is that movie with mucho gore CGI! However, I love this movie. Mind you I am a little biased. My favorite movie as a kid was called "Revenge of the Ninja" (Released in 1983) where a Ninja and his son watch his family killed so they move to America to be safe. Well they are not and the Ninja has to fight street toughs in ridiculous outfits, a big Indian guy with tomahawks (reference above picture) and ends up having to fight a white guy in a ninja suit wearing a demon mask in a badminton court on the roof of a building. It was the best movie ever and for some reason i rented it every weekend. Well the main character in this movie is played by the same actor as the ruthless ninja master in ‘Ninja Assassin," Sho Kosugi. It has been a long time Sho, and I missed you dearly but you really gotta quit fingering Ninjas and making them spit blood in your new movie. It is too bold after you’ve been gone for so long. The guy from Indiana Jones also liked to finger people, even stole their hearts but look what happened to him…. seriously, look at that face…. don’t let that be you. 

 

So the movie had a lot of whispering ninjas, used a lot of my favorite Ninja weapon the Kyoketsu Shoge (Which means to run about in the fields and mountains) and pretty cool effects, so if yer up to it….enjoy.

 

Finally, being in a dark mood i’ve been writing a lot of poetry and song lyrics. I decided to write one for my Oma (German for Grandma) that might sound a bit hopeful as she is recovering from a stroke (recovering quite well over the last few months which is great news) and a bit for myself as well as i’ve been a bit down. Dad said it sounds like a eulogy which made me a bit sad, but others said the opposite….what do you think?

 

“Storyteller, Take The Dream Road”

By: Ian

Dedicated to my Oma Thea

I am the Storyteller,

From the time I drew my first grasping breath,

Until such a time as an untimely death,

I was given so much more than even I will ever suspect,

The giver is you so in return I give my highest respect,

For this gift lets me walk upon the Dream Road.

 

We live on in a place that will never forgive,

So we must make mistakes so we might never forget,

To take on the beauty only the lowly conceive,

To take all the sorrow out of the regret,

So we might take solace in the arms of one another.

 

I am the Storyteller,

Know well that I think much about what I say when I speak,

But first I must listen to understand the story in you that I seek.

The world shall shape the mould for the stories I would tell,

But the tapestry of soul was woven by the yard of your dwell,

So I might find my path upon the Dream Road.

 

So do not lose yourself in the things that will not last the road,

When we spend our whole existence losing more and more,

The things you will have when you are finished carrying the load,

Are the songs, the dances, the love and the lore,

So never push away the people who would share it.

 

I am the Storyteller,

In the dreams of sleep I find myself like a marionette on display,

The sincerity I invoke through my story is no mummer’s play,

But the dreams of wakefulness I boldly follow the few,

May the last words in my story be about how much I love you,

So I might never walk alone upon the Dream Road.

 

When it seems all would fall upon the darkest hour,

When irreparable the earth becomes beneath your feet,

When the fates would strip you of all your power,

Follow faith to the source and let your heart sing indiscreet,

So we will never be denied to mark our own history.

 

We are the Storytellers,

So let us intertwine our stories together,

Forever and Forever more,

So we might walk amicably upon the Dream Road.

Fin.

 

So in closing, farewell my friends. I made this adventure a long one but I find the writing theraputic so thank you if you decided to follow me this far. I wish you all well in this twenty-ten, may it bring wonderful things to you and yours. Take care out there, it is a damn scary world.

 

Listening to: "Forsaker" by Katatonia

Reading: "Stone of Farewell" by Tad Williams

                                                                                                         -L’M'B

 

P.S to Nancy or anyone looking to pick up a new book:

Here is what you shall read:

 

1) "A Game Of Thrones" by George R.R Martin
2) "The Lies of Locke Lamora" by Scott Lynch
3) "Heroes Die" or "Blade of Tyshalle" by Matthew Woodring Stover (Give Time, hard to pick up on jisst right away)
4) "The Darkness That Comes Before" by R. Scott Bakker (More complicated uses of the English language)
5) "The Night Watch" by Sergei Lukyanenko (Give time, translated from Russian)

 

Good luck finding some of them, not all are still in print…. but hey USED BOOKS STORES, they are worth it…Scouts Honor!

And Lonliness Knocked On The Door For Christmas, I Said “No Solicitors!!”

Hello Kiddies!

 

Well it was not the ilk of the Christmas’ of Old. In fact I spent a good amount of my time alone and not feeling up to standard. This medication has me seeing through some kind of intellectual and spiritual fog. With the ill feeling, the alone time I managed to find myself in a small concoction of unhappiness. To be fair life has just not been going in any direction to my favour at all. However I managed to pull through it with a smile or two. Helped that Joel was down to spend some of the night hours with, not being able to shake this time schedule my body is limiting me to. Shit, I am having trouble concentrating on writing this. I have the focus of a frickin goldfish right now.

 

Christmas Eve Supper over at my brother’s In-laws was fantastic as per usual, but just not the same not having Dad around who ended up staying home due to adverse road conditions. Jeff and I managed to call up Oma (grandma) and Tante Lille (Auntie) which it was really nice to hear from. I must say I must have relly been a bad boy this year. I came into my first conflict trying to buy stuff for everybody as I have in richer years past, in fact spending to the critical limit of financial death. Then a few of my present’ee’s failed to even stop in while they were down to even recieve my giftage. So I guess i’m returning some shit to the store tomorrow. Myself, I recieved one present on Christmas. I am all about the giving, I don’t care about the recieving… but it kind of plays with my self confidence. Somebody putting thought into something is all I ever wanted, not extravagent gains. So I broke myself and recieved very little thought. In fact when Angela came home today, her family gave me more by leagues than family or friends. Hmmm….. I don’t know what to think about that. 

 

So I have spent much time in this apartment. Thinking about the last year, I have came to the conclusion that i can’t wait till it’s over. I had enough of your rough clownpounding sodomy 2009, give me a break or at least some lube, FUCK! This barely felt like Christmas this year. Yeah I know i might be getting old and Christmas is supposed to be for kids…. but fuck that noise. I think on the old shenanigans, simple things like the intoxicated Christmas Light Cruising with my buddy of yore, Mr. Spoon. Worlds apart now, i wonder how he looks back upon such times. I have been looking around the empty streets for nostalgia and all I have been seeing is that nobody put any lights up this year. WTF? So back in the apartment i sit Cat-sitting staring at the one string we have above the window, playing way too much Assassins Creed 2 and thinking about what I should be doing instead. It doesn’t help that the cat and I seem to have a mutual hate-on for each other. However in the quiet moments, we managed to find a lonely comfort in each others company. I guess I just don’t have the same life habits as mommy kitty, get over it. So then I get meowed at and bitten on my fricken eyebrow when i’m trying to sleep. So out of my compassionate nature, there were no pillow case rides for the kitty, but I can dream. I was going to say I digress, but I am starting to wonder what my main point was. Meh

 

In retrospect this post makes me sound like a Whiny douche-bag. In fact this is the sort of post I hate from most people…. ooh, life is hard and sucks sometimes. Nark nark, the kitty and I aren’t getting along. Well looks like my blog integrity just committed suicide, somebody should notify the authorities so they might pick up the corpse. Oh wait, nobody reads livespace…ha ha, looks like the blog shall rot with the others. So in conclusion i wish upon you and yours a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year (screw that happy holiday shit). I hope you have your coffers full of fine ass Christmas Swank and Booty! Please feel free to tell me of your winnings and adventures, I could use a distraction right now. Also Joel was good enough to share an educational video with me to improve my relationship with Spitfire the kitty so we might make ammends over the holidays, so now I share it with you…..peace:

 

Reading: "Stone of Farewell" by Tad Williams

Listening To: "Ring of Fire (Johnny Cash Cover)" by H-Blockx

                                                                                                                  -L’M'B

 

 

 

 

 

We Could Get Drunk & Fu’N'ck But I Have A Better Idea!!

 Ah Shit Son…

 

It is colder than a Witch’s Nipples out there right now.

 

I currently find myself lodged up in Red Deer hiding from adverse weather and treacherous highway conditions. In fact I have just officially become a wussy to this northern climate as my new affliction has also become overly sensitive to cold. Bah Humbug! So I’m just drinking some cold coffee and getting over being a little stir crazy i thought I just might write to you good folks out there on the interweb.

 

So I should start somewhere, howabouts the beginning of my crazy little adventure.

 

Last week I started a new job with my previous company securing the great white north in a place known as Firebag, roughly a 2 hour drive north of Fort McMurray. It all started out pretty fine and dandy, quickly noticing I was fond of my new co-workers and the respect recieved from the residents of this dry camp. Er… moist camp. No alcamahol….. no problems. Well I found the majority of my new duties involved copious amounts of walking. In fact if considered you were expected to walk roughly 16 km a night in heavy ass steel toe shoes. There were roughly 63 buildings with 390 marker points you had to use an electronic wand to scan as proof of patrol. You did this 4 times a night. As a further note you were expected to remove your shoes once inside each of these buildings/trailers, to walk through carrying these boots, only to lace up and travel outside of icy and snowy terrain to the next building. Truth to your mother I was quite fond of the exorcise and still had the legs for it. Apparently my shoe placement and removal muscles were not up to par but quickly became placed in the ‘No Worries’ zone. However the same could not be said for my feet. The places on my feet with Lychan Planus were to weak to properly callous making terrible skin trauma, swelling, bruising, peeling and maybe a little bit of bleeding. Each day became progressively worse until I finally went to see the medic out there who told me plainly that this issue would not get better until my skin was fully treated. So with many hard decisions I talked with management and agreed to stay out the week, putting in as much as I possibly could. Mind you I think I really delved through a few degrees of hell in doing so. I was told I had the heart for the work and was well recieved in all ways but it was in general agreement that health must come first. I was told that to continue on would be to risk severely damaging all the epidermal layers on the bottom of my feet in areas, and this could be very debilitating for quite some time. So as quickly as I came i was out again (That’s What She Said!!!!). Truth be told I am pretty damn upset about this because i was just getting into a groove out there. I was finally hoping to escape the greedy talons of government funded poverty…… shit. Maybe it was a bit too soon to take on such a daunting task, but I really don’t want to accept that I have to live any differently. Maybe that is immature of me.

 

Good news is that my feet are already looking quite a bit better. I’m glad that it isn’t taking as long as they suggested but unfortunately in spite of a better appearance the sensitivity and uncomfortableness is still no gravy boat. At least it beats the feeling of walking on acidic porridge (er Red River Maybe).

 

So once returning from camp to Fort McMurray I was well recieved by my very good friend ‘Grandpa’ Abdul. I got to spend 2 days at his place, catching up on a lot of sleep. While their I was treated so very well, his family feeding me like it was going out of style. I really liked the Somali dishes, but found that even though they would fill you until brimming, a few hours later it would be emptiness and dealing with the exit path. Spices were mild but delicious. After much time talking about old aquaintences, old adventures, religeon, politics and even ‘Jiggy Jiggy," I was back on the road homebound once more.

 

However stopped short was I as due to some very malevolent December Rain the highways became unpassable at Red Deer. One of my Headlights went out and now snow and deep freeze is in the full effect. Lucky am I that I was taken in by Amber and Colin, keeping my poor ass in shelter and warmth. Amber must think I be looking like a sad MoFo as she keeps feeding me. Damn good girl that one. Colin even cooked up some fine stirfry the other night. So for the last few days I have been biding my time, resting up and thinking upon the uncertain future. Well not to mention conquering the entire 2nd season of "True Blood." Fuck me, I love that show so hard I am beginning to hate it. So terrible they are to these characters that I can’t stop. Hey, you Nerd friends…… sound familliar, Hmmmmm? I still definately dugg the first season more but they already have me at there whim with the hook for season three. Do what you will you greedy bastards, you win.

 

With that out of the way I find myself playing with more musics, catching up on e-mails and waiting for something to happen. I hear good news that i may perhaps an interview as early as next week. Here’s hoping. While waiting though my mind turns to the things that the people of my homeland do when it is cold out and there is nothing to do. That is get shit-faced and skronk the shit out of each other. Well after being committed into a rehab dry camp, even upon my freedom I still can not enjoy the tastes of an ice cold lager or a nip o rye whiskey….. damn medication and as of a result, terrible liver counts. When someone tells you that you can not do something, it makes it all the more necessary. Damn. As for the nookie, the closest at Hand is lonliness and an unhealthy dose of viewing vampire sex. Well, I have a better idea then…… I will write this blog and plan a music disk for the rest of my postponed trip home…..yeah that would be way more fun!!!! PLEASE DO NOT DISTRUPT ANY OF THE AFOREMENTIONED DELUSIONS, THANK YOU.

 

Well I can not justify presenting any more words in yellow script to my avid readers, even though I was hoping they might bring the illusion of warmth with them… It has still failed. Damn you font, I had higher expectations. So take care out ther ya’ll, and I guess…… wish me luck?!?!

 

Listening to: "Bad Things" by Jace Everett (ha ha ha, that is the theme to True Blood, even though it finished while i was writing ‘listening,’ I thought i would share that with you. Actually listening to "Fireflies" by Owl City as we speak. Shit, neither puts my rep to be all that hardcore…. damn you random, damn you!

 

Reading: "The Dragonbone Chair" by Tad Williams, Book 1 of the " Memory, Sorrow and Thorn" Series. Not bad so far. Honorable mention however for my last book "Jericho Moon" by Matthew Woodring Stover. Wow, it was fantastic…. even though I got tired of some of the stereotypical feminist crap overplayed by far too many female lead characters, the rest of the story brought all the cast to life as is present in all of Stover’s books. How often does a woman actually contemplate whether she can do something or not based on the fact that she is a woman, then actually feels like she must overcompensate for it….really? Once again Whitey, as you can see I pretty much listen to you on what to read but I notice once again you make me read the 2nd novel in a Stover series first…. like shit, what is up with that? Still, Thanks

 

                                                                                                                                -L’M'B

 

Mixy’s Midnight Runners

Hi There Friends, How are you?

No shit?!?! Well I can sympathize.

 

So what is new with me you ask? Well lets just say life has been a little bit of a rollercoaster ride as of lately.

 

Let’s start with a down note. I have finally been diagnosed with a skin disease called "Lichen Planus," not nearly as exciting as "Lycan Planes," as I was hoping the moderate leprresy would lead to me eventually being the werewolf version of the Red Baron. Instead I have a rare condition which will stay with me throughout life and no one knows what seems to be the cause of it. It gives me symptoms of having purplish colored welts…leisions…(er..i’m not sure what they are, but they are not pus’ee er gross like one might imagine, just like skin thickening and discoloration) which are stupendously itchy, with pain when pressure is applied to them. So this has made doing things with my hands or walking for any real distance painful and irritating. Not to mention that when the sun goes down, my skin itched so bad I thought It would crawl away (No corralation with lunar cycles as far as I know In fact I made a statement to my friend Brennan while visiting him at work to the effect of me being ready to go to town with a potato pealer. This made him dry heave as he disgustedly fled to another area of the electronics store. Ha hahahahah…..ahhhhh. I would have been fine with bearing bloody stumps at that point of time. So after a barrage of doctors visits and a specialist I am now recieving treatments, realitively cost effective and with positive results. I am almost starting to feel less a leper and more like i’m made out of people parts again. My hands have already almost completely cleared up, just a few spots of minor discoloration. I am relieved much. However, as I am truly so blessed the tests I had taken also revealed abnormal liver functions, some of the readings showing results twice as high as they should be. Strange for a guy who very rarely drinks or takes pain medications. The doctor has no real clue what is going on or why it is happening. It is unlikely for the medication i’m taking to treat the LP (Yes, my ill afflicting Linkin Park, Ha!) Also he is not sure if it is related to my condition. Either way two blood tests for pretty much everything ever, same high scores in the liver panel now has me going to see another specialist. So I get told to lay off the booze and pills and wait and find out the hard way. So tell Ian not to drink, so now he really fuckin wants a drink. Bah!!!

 

Another little plus is the apparent little side effect of this wonderful medication, what was it now….oh yeah, really fucking horrendous nightmares. Pretty much every night, I have my loved ones maimed or dead in varying horrifying ways. I had this every night for the first two weeks of taking my meds. However it has now lessened to just mind numbing drama most nights, with the death stuff interrupting every couple of days…..yeah, shattered relationships, unsexual prowesses, or like last night where I was getting hunted by the mob. Oy veh! There has been not so much sleeping, a lot of nights in the silence with my music, books, writings and projects. Move aside Dexy, I’m taking over the Midnight Runners now. In fact thanks to all those friends who spend time cruisin around with me in the wee hours sippin on Timmy’s, rockin to my badd-ass tunes and keepin me away from that fuckin Sand’reaper.  

 

But hey Life has been pretty fantastic otherwise. Starting to hear a little bit off feedback from the job searching so I can get off of this damnable pogey. I’m tired of being this damn broke. Not only that but my last 3 weekends have been pretty awesome too!:

 

1: C4 Comicon in Winnipeg. My brother and one of his buddies cruised out to the ManiTooba to catch all the great fun. No crazy dressing up but got to meet really neat people and see some pretty cool shit, Nerd’D it up to hardcore proportions…..Awesome. I plan to make a post on all the Comicon happenings, just not today… i’m getting tuckered out here. Pictures will be available soon.

 

2. I got to go to a Punk-Rok show, my first show since seeing Uncle hammer back in summer. Also the first time i’ve been back to the Exchange since my ex-bandmates rocked the shittiest show ever a few years back, oh the memories. I got notice an hour before that due to a friend ticket bailout, I was going to go see "The Mad Caddies" with Kat and Adam. So the opening band was a local krew called "Cricket." They reminded me of a noob version of Boysetsfire, who being one of my favorite melodic hardcore bands, says a lot. If they stick in there. Second up was "The Johnstones," who I didn’t realize would be there but I was already familliar with. Noting their parody of the Lonely Island, called (I’m On a Couch), check it on YouTube. Also I knew the Bank Song. Well after seeing them live, I can say they had one of the most awkward and wonderful stage shows ever. The Trombone/Keyboardist looked like a perverted dwarfish little punk rocker who kept spitting on the other members of the bands. At one point they all adorned kitchen table cloths and wore them about as capes. They did a lot of mid tune instrument changes with other members of the band which is both technically and visually fantastic. I bought their CD, and were the treat of the night. The Mad Caddies had a very enthralling show, being the most musically synched and coherent among the bands. They were musically powerful, their stageshow not being as fantastic as the Johnstones but they seemed to just have a really awesome flow and charizma. Angie got her first punk rock show, yay!

 

3. Well it was my birthday two days ago. A little low key, but it was friends and good conversation at the appartment. Not to mention that after we ate the best pizza in Regina from Julianna’s Pizza, I got the most awesome cake I think i have ever recieved. Never has anyone put the time into making me something that Angela did last weekend. My cake had fucking, Deadpool on it! Fucking DEADPOOL….Awesome! Not only that he was about to carve pieces out of a dirty, snivelling clown…. fricken clown deserved it. Then Tyler recomended the cake be cut with a sword, me having one laying around did just that. I also decapitated the dirty clown and sucked out his icing and food coloring brains. Pretty damn cool. Pictures are above if you cycle to the end.

 

The last thing I can say with overly much relief. I have FINALLY completed the Lord Mix’M'Bad’s: The Ultimate Revenge Compilation 09!!! It has taken me forever to do, but it is done. An Mp3 CD with 2 folders of wonderful revenge, 1 of revenge spill over so bad I don’t want to listen to it, 1 of really terrible cover songs and 2 of mashups, 1 really bad and one relatively good. Adam is on his way over right now, unsuspectingly about to recieve ultimate payback. I hope we’re still friends after. So thankyou for the suggestions submitted by my faithful henches. Thanks to Whitey, Joel, Jason, Jeff and the other….. I really appreciate!

 

Okay i’m Knuckle Drag’N, I gotta sign off, stay tuned for the comicon goods shortly. Peace out,

                                                                                                                            -Mix

Listening To: "Lament For The Toy Factory" by Dr. Steel

  

Too Many Pu$$ies With a Tin Ear

The Music Industry……

 

I have spent a month an a half sorting my music library for the purposes of backing it all up. During this process with the help of Youtube and Wikipedia I researched most of the bands I was protecting, to make sure my information was right and to see if these bands came out with new material I was not aware of. This research was startling, many of these wonderful bands in fact disbanded, left for new projects and fell beneath the crush of undeserved failure. I also came across a few new bands and in this research I came to a horrendous discovery, there are way too many pussies with a Tin Ear! Don’t get me wrong, I am okay with the fact that I have many disagreements with other metalheadz on what is to be considered good music, so why argue to point (Blah Blah, I hate Mnemic’s new singer, he ruined them!! Blah Blah). My range is huge…. punk, indie, Prog Rok, Synthpop, Industrial, Fantasy Metal, Steam Punk…. but there are just a few things so bad that I can’t even laugh, it just hurts me so much that it exists that….. well I don’t know how I can go on. So I share with you my "WINNER" for biggest piece of crap ever distributed and liked by people while pretending to have shreds of integrity. The song is called "Freakxxx" by Brokencyde (Yes Broke Inside, I get it…… I also feel that way, Because of You Gaytards, thanks), listed under the Genre title of Crunkcore! Here it is for your viewing pleasure:

 

 

Okay, now who thinks we were a bit too harsh when we decided Painful Euthanasia was morally wrong? My god, this piece of crap would make even the most flaming emo kid SHART his pants. Okay, we got Baby-Gap Pimps rapping it out with some douche in a pig costume, regurgitating some form of hardcore pussy vomit while the ProstiTots get paid way too little to dance for these pink hoodie wearing failed abortions. Notice how the Douche Baggets take turns choking the one poor little ProstiTot, they don’t know any better sweety, that is how Daddy showed them love. I also like how there is just the one random dude dancing like he accidentally came across some flaming douche party and decided to start crunkin it up so he didn’t get noticed enough to be injected with date-rape drugs to play out some demented victim in the form of a Suburban "Deliverence." That is how the guy in the Pig Costume got auditioned. I believe this video to have the same musical credibility as this:

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9kIWnKCS8pw

 

Well I believe I spent far too much time on these Bag-tagging Thuglets. Apparently there is this well of hate that I have not been nurturing for a while. I better kick this in the nugget before it goes too far, and I am seen as one of those supremist types, as depicted here:

 

Well with all these musical down-notes I had to look to something to bring me back up….. but what… YES, YESSSSS!!!! Rammstein is making new music again, they have a new video…… Lord be praised! You guys made me love dirty and dark, so lets see this bad boy! What? A disclaimer? Oh…. I get it, you guys are a little artsy and edgey….I can appreciate that. What the song is called German Pussy? Oh….well….. yeah, just see for yourself:

 

http://visit-x.net/rammstein/

 

oh…. okay I was worried when I heard the lyrics "You have a pussy, I have a dick’a, so what’s the problem? Lets do it quick." It was like most of their videos until… well until it became a porn. Ya… we could do music…or we could make german non-shizer porn, a national first. Oh my, I really hope their music doesn’t fail. Disheartened once again…. oy.

 

So quickly to my life. I am looking to get off this EI and be productive again. Damn it is not easy. I spent all that time up north dreaming of my friends and loved ones, mournfully looking at pictures of the fun we once had. But since i’ve been back I now realize that people got used to me not being around. Due to lifestyles, I have not been spending the quality time I once envisioned. So now I almost mourn being the big bad boss up north again. It was good to feel apart of something, given respect and even admirations. Things are tough right now too with the health. My skin condition is out of control, covering my hands, feet and legs. Painful and itchy is my life right now. My current doctor seems to have given up after assaulting me with at least 4 uneffective $70 creams. I ahave gone for a biopsy and now must wait till the middle of next month to see a specialist. There are a lot of really scary possibilities of what this affliction might be and now I stir in them waiting for answers. I am not really in the best of spirits but damn all if i’m not trying. Auto-Immune, Brain Swelling, Lupus, among a few. Well I guess I will just have to spend some more motorcycle therapy time this week and see if I can’t turn that frown upside down. I love you peeps, thanks for investing your time in me. Laterz!

 

Listening To: "Apocalypse Meow" by You Say Party! We Say Die!

Reading: "Jericho Moon" by Matthew Woodring Stover

 

                                                                                                                                -Ian / L’M'B